


hesitate

by sanjariti



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Comforting Steve, F/M, angsty, love hurts but steve gets it, soft baby steve
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-23 07:29:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20004577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanjariti/pseuds/sanjariti
Summary: Steve’s struggle with love has held him back from saying those three little words to you. But can you show him your love for each other is what he needs to save himself?





	hesitate

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by hesitate by the jonas brothers, i hope you enjoy!! feedback is always appreciated <3333

When they talk about love, they talk about the laughs that are shared; the contagious smiles that seem to never go away; and the never ending elated feeling your heart gets every time you bask in the warmth of their arms.

What they don’t talk about are the hard times; the moments where you don’t seem to listen to one another; where words come across in different meanings, and with different intentions; and the times where the love… is more pretending than real. 

For Steve, love had become tainted.

 _Ruined_ , if he was being honest.

Ever since Nancy, he’s found it harder to say those three little words; to even think about the idea of it. It wasn’t as easy as before - not that ever was _easy,_ but he… well, he felt it once before, but now he just wasn’t so sure his heart could ever do it again.

Every part of him seemed to struggle with the awful weight of doubt that fell upon him in the months after the break-up. It was like being pulled underwater, his head never quite able to reach the surface for a sliver of air.

The idea of those words rolling off his tongue brought a sour taste to his mouth, his throat running dry as the thought even breached his mind. 

But how could he still feel this way - carry this heavy, heart wrenching pain crushing his heart when he has you? 

You.

The moment you came into his life, he was lifted from the waters pulling him back; the breaths of air he had been chasing after for so long filled his lungs, liberating him from his pain; his misery. 

Almost.

Even though everything was easy and right with you, more right than anything ever before; there was no way he was putting his heart on the line like that again.

He couldn’t face the pain again; the never ending ache in his heart, the numbness of his mind. It was dark, painful hole he wouldn’t wish on his worst enemy - and Billy definitely deserved it, sometimes.

Steve just couldn’t do it. The doubt, the fear, the never ending anxiety; it would be all too consuming, and he wasn’t sure he’d make it out again.

One night, it got to him. 

He never gave those feelings much thought - he always pushed them away, wishing he could just bury all that he was holding and never look back. 

But that day had just been too much.

It had been a crappy start at the ice cream parlor, no thanks to his shitty dad who was trying to ‘teach him a lesson’, and the long line of customers whose orders he just couldn’t seem to get right. After that, he had gotten into an argument with Dustin and Max, and he definitely said some things he didn’t mean. 

The regret and frustration filling up his mind was pushing him to the brink, and Billy did nothing but add to it.

Steve had been walking back to his car in the StarCourt parking lot, when he spotted Billy across the aisles of parked cars.

“Harrington, for the love of god, get rid of that piece of shit!” He shouted, nodding in the direction of Steve’s car. He was lighting up his cigarette as he slowly made his way over to him, his eyes gleaming.

“Did you hear me, pretty boy?” 

“Yeah, Billy, I did, I’m not in the mood to-”

“To what? We’re just talkin’, Harrington, unless you had something else in mind-” As Billy reached his hand out, Steve smacked it away, pushing past Billy to get to the front.

Billy rolled his eyes, put his hand on Steve’s shoulder, and pushed him against the side of the car.

“Don’t fuckin’ touch me, Harrington,” He said, eyes dark with anger as he tightened his grip on Steve.

He knew he shouldn’t have done it, but it was just all too much for him to control his actions at that point. 

Balling up his hands, he hit Billy square in the jaw, causing him to stagger back against the other car. As its alarms started going off, distracting Billy even more, Steve got into his car, locked the doors, and backed out of the parking spot without even glancing back. 

When he found himself pulling into your driveway, he couldn’t help the steady stream of tears falling down his cheeks as he turned his car off. 

He slowly made his way to your front door, his head hung low, and his breath labored as he tried to calm himself down.

But it was no use.

As soon as you opened the door, heard his sniffling, and pulled him into your arms, Steve lost it. Sobs began to rack his body, his arms snaking their way around your waist, gripping the back of your t-shirt as he let it all out.

You slowly walked back into the living room, barely managing to kick the door shut before making it to the couch, where you sat down, and brought Steve with you. 

He curled up next to you, his head on his lap, and his arms still tightly wrapped around you. Slowly combing your fingers through his hair, you took a few deep breaths, trying your best to regain some composure. 

It hurt you so much to see Steve like this - vulnerable, and hurting, with no words to explain how he felt. You knew it was hard for him to open up after Nancy, and you understood why - if you were him, you would never want to trust anyone ever again, no matter what.

But you also knew at some point, you had to know. You couldn’t just sit idly by, never knowing if Steve was ever going to trust you enough; _love you enough._

It was equal parts on you as it was on him to stop hesitating; to stop the doubt and the pain before it became too much.

As you took one last deep breath, you pushed back some stray pieces of hair that had fallen over Steve’s face. His eyes were closed, his crying reduced to broken sobs and sniffles, and his arms still holding onto you desperately.

Letting your hands gently cradle his head, you leaned down and pressed a chaste kiss to the top of his forehead. 

“If only I could read your mind,” You whispered, a sad smile appearing as you spoke. “Then I could map out all the ways to make things right. I promise we’ll figure this out, Steve. I know you’re scared, and I get it, I do. But just know, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I’m on your side, no matter what.”

You stifled a sob that was threatening to slip out, hoping you wouldn’t give in just yet.

“Time only heals if we work through it now. So lay it on me - everything you’re holding, everything you’ve been keeping to yourself since the start. I’ll be there to catch you when you fall. Just like right now,” 

A few tears had slipped down your cheeks, landing right on Steve’s nose. He slowly opened his eyes and glanced up at you as you continued to speak.

“I’d do anything for you. God, all I want to do is take this pain, everything that’s been hurting you for so long… I just want to take it all away from you. I will put it on my heart if I have to, for you. No hesitation.” 

When you look down, you see Steve smiling at you, his eyes red and puffy from crying, and a few stray tears falling down his face.

“ _Oh_ , Steve,” You mumbled, your tears gracefully falling down your cheeks as you pulled him into your chest. He squeezed you tightly before sitting up, and pulling you into his arms. 

He didn’t know what to say in that moment, so he cupped your face gently and kissed you with every ounce of love he had for you. 

You kissed him back, gently pulling away so you could hug him again. He chuckled softly, rubbing your back as he swallowed his nerves.

“I love you,” He said proudly, his smile growing wide as you sat back and he looked at him in awe. “I love you… so, so damn much. I thank the universe for giving me you, and I don’t know how I will ever thank you for loving me,”

You smiled, wiping away the tears that betrayed the love and joy you were feeling. Resting your hand on his chest, just above his heart, you whispered.

“No need for thanks, Steve. You already have my heart.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!! hope you're enjoying my love for steve :')


End file.
